Court Jesters

Hi folks,

So, just posting a quick line to mention that the pilot episode for the animated series "Court Jesters", written and directed by yours truly is online here. All feedback is much appreciated.

It's in the same vein as most Adult Swim animated comedies, so if that's your sort of thing, hopefully you'll enjoy it.

If it does tickle your fancy then why not head over to the facebook page and click on that big ol' "Like" button?

Guys, My Back Is Eroding!!!

Around this time last year I was a couple of months in to a daily routine of lower back pain and an occasional shooting sensation running up and down my left leg. In fact, as I recall, the issue went as far back as May of 2011. It's a bit of a harrowing exerience, sitting on the end of your bed, and crouching over to put on your socks, only to feel a massive pull followed by an intense stabbing sensation in your lower back. I suppose I should have been concerned about it at the time, but as someone who has a history of pulling muscles, particularly in my back, I just kind of presumed that this was more of the same, and carried on in spite of myself.

Generally with pulled muscles, the pain starts to subside after just a couple of days, and even at it's worst, the pain is still more than manageable. This was different. My concern for the issue grew as days turned to weeks, which then turned to months with no end in sight. There wasn't even a slight dimming of the pain to be honest. It was constant and consistant in it's presence. Essentially, I felt like shit, but carried on in blissful ignorance. Of course after a few weeks had passed I was all too aware that this was not just another pulled muscle, but I had become that concerned about it, that I was actively avoiding going to see the doctor because I was legitimately worried that it was going to require spinal surgery, a prospect which, at the tender age of twenty four, did not appeal to me in the slightest.

So anyway, late last year I bit the bullet and decided to go and see my GP, who scheduled an MRI scan. (Claustrophobes beware, they are not fun) When she received the pictures of the scan, it showed quite a bit of "erosion" of my L4,L5 in my lower spinal column. Essentially, a disc in the lumbar region of my back had desintegrated to a point where mobilty was causing friction and that friciton is what was causing the pain.

A picture of my spine. The red ring circles the L4,L5 and as you can see, the discs appear to be compressed on one side.

The next step was to visit a neuro surgeon, who had been sent on a copy of my MRI scans. Before even looking at them he called me into his office, shook my hand and asked me to do a number of basic exercises, checked my reflexes etc. and then told me "Without even looking at these scans, I'm happy to tell you that you don't need surgery!", which obviously provided instantaneous relief. He went on to explain that surgery is only ever performed in these cases, when the subjects movement and ability to do basic stretches and exercises is impeded by the pain, which in my case it was not. He told me that Physiotherapy, followed by an extensive regime of Pilates would provide not only relief, but would actually strengthen my core muscles to the point that it would prevent any further damage being done to my back.

For some reason, the idea of Pilates classes didn't really appeal to me, and I remember expressing a lack of interest in doing it in subsequent weeks, until somebody suggested that I consider Yoga as an alternative. Truthfully, that didn't seem any more appealing to me, but after a short while I remembered hearing about DDP Yoga, which is essentially a compilation of several different Yoga and Fitness excercises crammed in to a DVD set. I remembered watching DDP (a former professional wrestler) on WCW as a kid, and I did recall that he had experienced problems with the exact same part of his spine (L4, L5) over a decade ago, before taking up yoga and eventually going on to set up his own Yoga and Fitness program. It was only a couple of weeks after starting the "Red Hot Core" excercises on the DVD, that I began to feel rapid relief. The shooting pain that formerly ran down my left leg is all but gone, and aside from the occasional tug, my back feels as loose as it did a decade ago.

True Story.

The Subtle Differences!

"It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got here, but it's just – it's just there it's a little different." - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction


I think it happens a lot in life, that the so called "little differences" lead people to misinterpret or even unfairly dislike a lot of things, based on the fact that these "little differences" are in fact so little, that the average person can't tell the difference to begin with.

For example - Coca Cola/Diet Coke

To the uninitiated Diet Coke is simply a lower sugar, lower caffeine alternative to the real McCoy, which boasts the same great taste. However, to the people who consume on average a handful of units of Coca Cola based beverages per week and as such can easily tell the difference, Diet Coke offers absolutely jack and shit. For a kick off, there's no sugar buzz...that's fucked right off...and likewise you can forget about any sort of caffeine induced sweats or paranoia (all the things that make you enjoy it's full sugar counterpart)...and the icing on the cake is that it tastes like absolute piss. I'd say I'd rather drink a carton of unpasteurised, out of date goats milk, but we all know that's bullshit. I'd clearly pick Diet Coke over that as an alternative...but just barely!

 Similarly, I always found the distinction between infant and adult nappies to be something worth mentioning. Why is it, that as infants, we are celebrated for "requiring" (for lack of a better term) these incredibly useful household items, yet, once people hit the pensioner phase of their lives, the sheer idea of having to revert to using these nappies is considered something to be embarassed by. I think all pensioners whose organs aren't performing up to scratch should say it loud and say it proud by sporting an adult nappy underneath their overalls. Wouldn't everyone just be happier if they didn't have to worry about it? And you'd never know, it could become the new norm. Just imagine a world where you don't need to worry about what foul atrocities await you in the dark bowers of public toilets. A Eutopia if ever there was one.

Thirdly, on this subject of subtle differences, is the notion of dialect/language barriers when it comes to certain words referring to different things in different places. This can cause issues. If you are in Europe at a fast food restaurant, and you ask for chips, you get chips. If you are at a similar fast food establishment in the States, and you ask for  chips, you get a strange look from the person behind the counter. This is because they don't say chips. They say "fries"...which over here refers to the act of throwing some rashers, sausages and some pudd on a pan and "frying" it (cryptic isn't it?). When was the last time you've ever seen chips being cooked that way? If I went to a mate's house for dinner and I saw them fuck their chips on to a frying pan I'd cut my losses and go home. Now I know you can put them in a deep fat frier which admittedly is probably what they do in McDonalds...but wouldnt it be easier to just say "chips"?.... and then just to fuck you right off, you'd go to a convenience store in the States and ask for a bag of crisps...only to get another strange look from the clerk. See that's because they call crisps...wait for it..."chips"...That's right, they call those, hard, crunchy, CRISPY potato snacks, chips. It beggars belief.

These are chips

These are crisps

Similarly in terms of regional differences is the variation between names of jam! And I'm not talking about the word "Jam" versus the word "Jelly" (although that lights a fire under me too). I'm referring more specifically to the idea of the words "preserve" and "conserve"... Is there a difference? I always thought they meant the same thing, but when it comes to food, we're living in a world where chips and crisps are swapped depending on where you live, so how can anyone be sure that there are no differences between Strawberry preserve and Strawberry conserve...eh?

50/50

So, a few weeks ago I wrote a blog entry documenting my favourite films of the year and vaguely explained why I chose them for my top five. One of the main reasons that 50/50 was not included in this list was that I was originally under the impression that it was not being released over this side of the pond until 2012. I was wrong. It was released three weeks ago. I watched it. I loved it, and then I watched it again. Now I'm writing about it...True story. From watching the trailers or reading the reviews I had more or less pieced together a jigsaw in my head of how the final cut of the movie would look, and as it turned out, for the most part the picture was fairly accurate. Truth be told, it's more or less a straight up cancer story which portray's the grueling nature of chemotherapy, the despair that cancer brings, and the strain that it puts on relationships. On the surface, there's really nothing here that hasn't already been seen a dozen times in other movies.

What I didn't count on however, was the fact that it serves as a very effective way of suddenly making a young audience become very aware of their own mortality, and therein lies its originality. This is something that I can honestly say I never felt while watching any movie in the past. Generally I consider the world of cinema to be a form of escapism, and as such regard most everything that I see within the confines of the auditorium as a work of pure fiction and nothing more. I did not feel that way here.

One of the most interesting aspects of the movie is that it is more or less an auto-biographical tale from it's writer Will Reiser, who was diagnosed with a very rare form of spinal cancer in his early twenties. Another interesting side-note is that Seth Rogen's character (that of the nurturing and well-meaning best friend) is also the role that he played in Reiser's life at the time of his diagnosis, as the two were (and still are) very close friends.

The lead role of Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is played with just the right balance of humour and melancholy as we see him transition through the various physical and emotional "stages" of The Big C. It is clear from the outset that Adam is one of those typical virtuous leading men, putting on full display - all the attributes of a man that women in the audience tend to fall in love with (not unlike his character in "500 days of Summer"). Levitt's real acting prowess is put on full display here, particularly in a late scene in the final act where his tribulations culminate in a heart racing, fist pounding nervous breakdown.

There is also more than adequate support from the likes of Angelica Huston as Adam's grieving mother, and Anna Kendrick as an adorably awkward shrink-in-training.With a compelling, sometimes bitter-sweet, but overall uplifting story and a very bankable assembly of talent in front of the camera, 50/50 is an absolute must see. If you can watch it without feeling the hair stand up on your neck, or at least feeling your chin wobble, then simply put, you are made of stone. Watch this movie.

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 3

It was a dangerous situation...and Dave was a dangerous man. Crawling out of the wreckage of the plane he thought to himself "That's the second plane I had to crash this week...shame". He dusted himself down and patted out the fire on his clothes. Dave looked around...what a coincidence. His kidnappers seemed to have brought him to the destination that he was planning on going to anyway. "I must be in Australia" Dave thought to himself as he looked at the sign saying "Welcome to Australia". All of a sudden the rubble from the crash started to become disturbed. Dave turned and saw a hand sticking up out of the wreckage. "It's the pilot." he shouted..."the dastard...I thought I killed him already" and then, moving closer to the badly hurt aviator his anger subsided. "Oh well..." he thought..."I guess I can always kill him twice". He cracked his knuckles so as to intimidate the man, but alas, the pilot could not be intimidated...not because he was really macho or anything like that, but rather because he had slipped into a coma while Dave was talking to himself. Dave stomped on his nuts. It made a funny crunching sound like when you step on some frozen leaves on a cold winters day. "Hahaha" thought Dave. Now he could begin his learning as planned.

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 2

Dave woke up on an airplane in mid flight. He found the whole situation very confusing because he remembered being at the airport but had no memory of boarding a plane. "I don't remember boarding a plane" he said... "And this whole situation is very confusing". What's more, he was not in a seat, but in the cargo area where it was all dark and uncomfortable. He was pretty sure he heard a rat...and maybe he saw one run past too. Or maybe he was halucinating. It was very dark. It may not have been a rat. It may have just been a giant spider, or a scorpion or something like that. Dave's patience was wearing thin. He had spent several years studying to be a pacifist with Tibetan monks a long time ago, but he was considering abandoning that on acoount of he was so angry for being knocked out and put in the cargo area. "...and after I paid for a ticket and everything" he thought.

Just then a crack of light entered the area and a dark figure walked in. Dave's first thoughts were that if it was a man, he would kill him with a falcon punch, and that if it was a woman, he would seduce her to find out who was responsible. As the figure approached Dave could make out some feminine qualities and so flashed an award winning smile. Her bra popped off. He then proceeded to seduce her. Afterwards he killed her with a falcon punch, but his insatiable appetite for seduction lead him to forget that he was supposed to ask her who was responsible. "Oh well". He was going to find out the information one way or another. He quietly moved  towards the cockpit. "Time to meet the pilot" Dave said. "Hahaha".

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 1

"This is no good" Dave thought out loud to himself. The situation which he was referring to which was not good was that he was finished learning everything that he could possibly learn in Ireland. "I only care about two things in this life...working on my computer, and learning stuff" he said while buying a milky bar ice cream. They were his favourite. As he ate the ice cream bar he realised that it was not bringing him as much happiness as he thought it would. Dave decided that if he was going to continue to learn stuff, he was going to have to go somewhere else to do it."If I am going to continue to learn stuff, I need to go somewhere else to do it" he exclaimed. The man behind the counter in the ice cream shop was not the least bit interested in any of this and said "Just go then...take your precious ice cream bar and leave".

Dave did just that. But he decided that he would bring a laptop...that way he could document his learnings while on the go. But Dave was too poor to buy a laptop. He had spent his last 800 euro on a plane ticket to Australia, so he needed to figure out another way to bring one. "I know" Dave thought... "I will take a laptop from the store and not pay for it". It was not going to be easy, and it would require all of Dave's cunning. "It is not going to be easy, and it will require all of my cunning" he said out loud while standing in the middle of the laptop store. The staff were suspicious. He needed to create a diversion. A clerk came over and asked "Can I help you sir?". Losing his cool, Dave called an audible and picked up the laptop off the shelf, clobbering the store clerk across the head with it, before sommersaulting over a handful of security men who were blocking the exit. Dave escaped with the laptop and was ready to learn. "Hahaha" Dave thought.