Friday, November 25, 2011
Dave's Learnings - Chapter 3
It was a dangerous situation...and Dave was a dangerous man. Crawling out of the wreckage of the plane he thought to himself "That's the second plane I had to crash this week...shame". He dusted himself down and patted out the fire on his clothes. Dave looked around...what a coincidence. His kidnappers seemed to have brought him to the destination that he was planning on going to anyway. "I must be in Australia" Dave thought to himself as he looked at the sign saying "Welcome to Australia". All of a sudden the rubble from the crash started to become disturbed. Dave turned and saw a hand sticking up out of the wreckage. "It's the pilot." he shouted..."the dastard...I thought I killed him already" and then, moving closer to the badly hurt aviator his anger subsided. "Oh well..." he thought..."I guess I can always kill him twice". He cracked his knuckles so as to intimidate the man, but alas, the pilot could not be intimidated...not because he was really macho or anything like that, but rather because he had slipped into a coma while Dave was talking to himself. Dave stomped on his nuts. It made a funny crunching sound like when you step on some frozen leaves on a cold winters day. "Hahaha" thought Dave. Now he could begin his learning as planned.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Dave's Learnings - Chapter 2
Dave woke up on an airplane in mid flight. He found the whole situation very confusing because he remembered being at the airport but had no memory of boarding a plane. "I don't remember boarding a plane" he said... "And this whole situation is very confusing". What's more, he was not in a seat, but in the cargo area where it was all dark and uncomfortable. He was pretty sure he heard a rat...and maybe he saw one run past too. Or maybe he was halucinating. It was very dark. It may not have been a rat. It may have just been a giant spider, or a scorpion or something like that. Dave's patience was wearing thin. He had spent several years studying to be a pacifist with Tibetan monks a long time ago, but he was considering abandoning that on acoount of he was so angry for being knocked out and put in the cargo area. "...and after I paid for a ticket and everything" he thought.
Just then a crack of light entered the area and a dark figure walked in. Dave's first thoughts were that if it was a man, he would kill him with a falcon punch, and that if it was a woman, he would seduce her to find out who was responsible. As the figure approached Dave could make out some feminine qualities and so flashed an award winning smile. Her bra popped off. He then proceeded to seduce her. Afterwards he killed her with a falcon punch, but his insatiable appetite for seduction lead him to forget that he was supposed to ask her who was responsible. "Oh well". He was going to find out the information one way or another. He quietly moved towards the cockpit. "Time to meet the pilot" Dave said. "Hahaha".
Just then a crack of light entered the area and a dark figure walked in. Dave's first thoughts were that if it was a man, he would kill him with a falcon punch, and that if it was a woman, he would seduce her to find out who was responsible. As the figure approached Dave could make out some feminine qualities and so flashed an award winning smile. Her bra popped off. He then proceeded to seduce her. Afterwards he killed her with a falcon punch, but his insatiable appetite for seduction lead him to forget that he was supposed to ask her who was responsible. "Oh well". He was going to find out the information one way or another. He quietly moved towards the cockpit. "Time to meet the pilot" Dave said. "Hahaha".
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Dave's Learnings - Chapter 1
"This is no good" Dave thought out loud to himself. The situation which he was referring to which was not good was that he was finished learning everything that he could possibly learn in Ireland. "I only care about two things in this life...working on my computer, and learning stuff" he said while buying a milky bar ice cream. They were his favourite. As he ate the ice cream bar he realised that it was not bringing him as much happiness as he thought it would. Dave decided that if he was going to continue to learn stuff, he was going to have to go somewhere else to do it."If I am going to continue to learn stuff, I need to go somewhere else to do it" he exclaimed. The man behind the counter in the ice cream shop was not the least bit interested in any of this and said "Just go then...take your precious ice cream bar and leave".
Dave did just that. But he decided that he would bring a laptop...that way he could document his learnings while on the go. But Dave was too poor to buy a laptop. He had spent his last 800 euro on a plane ticket to Australia, so he needed to figure out another way to bring one. "I know" Dave thought... "I will take a laptop from the store and not pay for it". It was not going to be easy, and it would require all of Dave's cunning. "It is not going to be easy, and it will require all of my cunning" he said out loud while standing in the middle of the laptop store. The staff were suspicious. He needed to create a diversion. A clerk came over and asked "Can I help you sir?". Losing his cool, Dave called an audible and picked up the laptop off the shelf, clobbering the store clerk across the head with it, before sommersaulting over a handful of security men who were blocking the exit. Dave escaped with the laptop and was ready to learn. "Hahaha" Dave thought.
Dave did just that. But he decided that he would bring a laptop...that way he could document his learnings while on the go. But Dave was too poor to buy a laptop. He had spent his last 800 euro on a plane ticket to Australia, so he needed to figure out another way to bring one. "I know" Dave thought... "I will take a laptop from the store and not pay for it". It was not going to be easy, and it would require all of Dave's cunning. "It is not going to be easy, and it will require all of my cunning" he said out loud while standing in the middle of the laptop store. The staff were suspicious. He needed to create a diversion. A clerk came over and asked "Can I help you sir?". Losing his cool, Dave called an audible and picked up the laptop off the shelf, clobbering the store clerk across the head with it, before sommersaulting over a handful of security men who were blocking the exit. Dave escaped with the laptop and was ready to learn. "Hahaha" Dave thought.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
2011 in Film
For the most part 2011 has been a dull year for movies. Some of the more interesting titles of the year weren't necessarily rewarded for their efforts with either box office success nor the praise of critics (as usual), and then by contrast, the films that were rewarded with fiscal success were remarkably undeserving of said success (Transformers: Dark Side Of Yer Gash, anyone?). But thankfully, this year, like every other, had just about enough decent offerings to remind us why we love movies in the first place. Now, obviously the year is not over yet, but with movies such as Harold and Kumar and Alvin and The Chipmunks scheduled to finish off the year's theatrical run, it's fairly safe to assume that the best movies of this year have already seen the light of day.
The following is my current opinion (subject to change) on the top movies of the year. So, what's best way to tackle this?... Top 5 countdown I reckon. Cliché, I know, but lets just get it over with shall we?
Wedged somewhere ambiguously between rom-com and drama, this movie features an impressive cast who all churn out solid performances. Couple that with an excellent script and a unique approach to an otherwise jaded "couple going through a rough patch" kind of story, throw in Ryan Gosling as an unbelievably suave player, and an interesting turn from the always delightful Marisa Tomei as a bat shit crazy school teacher, and there really was no way this movie could bomb. The funny moments are exceptionally funny (and not just by rom com standards), and likewise the drama is pulled off with a great deal of sincerity. My only complaint about this movie is that it is a good half hour longer than it should be, and that will be apparent to anyone who watches it. But otherwise, it's place in this list is rather justified.
For some reason, every year, without fail I find myself inexplicably liking a movie that doesn't necessarily deserve an awful lot of attention. Usually it's either an awful comedy or a big budget action blockbuster with no plot (a la "The Expendables"), that really has no business appearing in anyone's Top 5. This year, my guilty pleasure was Neil Berger's twisted yarn "Limitless", featuring a pilled up Bradley Cooper realising his full potential due to the discovery of a performance enhancing drug, which ultimately ends up consuming the people who partake and forcing them to a grizzly premature demise. It's essentially a glorified chase movie, with some funky sequences thrown in to illustrate just how Bradley Cooper's character performs while under the influence. It's nonsense really, but it's a visual feast. But on a side note, DeNiro's pug faced tough guy routine is starting to piss me off.
Up until a month ago, this movie looked set to sit firmly in the number one spot on my list, and not because it is such a terrific movie or anything... but rather because it just so happens that two of the best movies of the entire year (or any year for that matter) were released within the last month. Super 8 is understandably regarded by many as some kind of a rip-off of the Spielbergian movies of the seventies and eighties, but if we're being fair, it's so much more than that. I think the best way to put it is that it is more of a love letter to fans of those innocent eighties movies than anything else. Does it borrow from templates like E.T and The Goonies? Sure it does... But it had been so damn long since anyone had seen a movie like this, that audiences were practically screaming out for a movie that reminded them of those aforementioned classics, and like it or not, Super 8 is the response to those screams. It had great pace, it looked beautiful, and Spielberg stamped his seal of approval all over that mother, which makes the creative sampling of his work acceptable in my book. I also thought it was great to see Kyle Chandler back on the big screen. For the sake of being balanced, if I was to pick something that I didn't like about Super 8, it would be the ludicrous volume of shots featuring lens flare. JJ needs to just build a bridge already. People didnt like the lens flare in Star Trek...what made him think it would be any more well received here?
The movie that solidified Ryan Gosling as the man to lead the next generation of suave, intense protagonists is also quite possibly one of the single greatest thriller's of the last few years. It's a rare occasion that a character comes along that can be both shit cool and mysterious in equal measure, and it's even more rare that we go the entire movie without discovering the character's name. With very little dialogue from the main character, it's remarkable in retrospect that the movie is as gripping as it is. But the key plot points occur at just the right moments to keep you from losing interest in what's going on, and the pace is such that the entire movie (save a couple of utterly grotesque kill sequences) is an absolute joy to watch. The soundtrack is easily one of the finest of the year too, with some epic synth tracks from the likes of Kavinsky and Lovefoxxx. In essence, if I could sum up "Drive" in one sentence, it would be "Go see it!!!"
Admittedly, part of the reason this movie ranked so high on my list is probably because it is the most recent. Regardless of whether I re-assess my decision to place "The Ides Of March" as my number one movie of 2011, the simple fact of the matter is, at the moment, this movie is the most gripping, enduring film that I've seen in a good long while. On paper it seems like quite a dull story about a young man who is single handedly keeping the presidential campaign afloat for his candidate, while managing potential scandals and ensuring that they don't make their way into the public domain. At this point, it probably goes without saying that there's a lot more to it than that and once again, as with "Crazy, Stupid Love", this movie succeeds with thanks in no small part to the superb performances from the cast. Clooney has certainly proven his directing chops at this point, and it would not be wise to discount this modern classic from next years Oscar race. Marisa Tomei is terrific in her role as the backstabbing journalist who is looking to sell anyone out for the next big scoop, and similarly, Philip Seymore Hoffman does his job more than adequately, playing the paranoid campaign manager for Clooney's presisential hopeful. But perhaps the one thing to take away from this list, is that 2011 belongs to Ryan Gosling. With three of the best picture's of the year under his belt, he can seemingly do no wrong at the moment, and he has built a serious amount of momentum going into 2012. On a side note, the musical score by Alexandra Desplat is exceptional.
The following is my current opinion (subject to change) on the top movies of the year. So, what's best way to tackle this?... Top 5 countdown I reckon. Cliché, I know, but lets just get it over with shall we?
- 5 - Crazy, Stupid, Love
Wedged somewhere ambiguously between rom-com and drama, this movie features an impressive cast who all churn out solid performances. Couple that with an excellent script and a unique approach to an otherwise jaded "couple going through a rough patch" kind of story, throw in Ryan Gosling as an unbelievably suave player, and an interesting turn from the always delightful Marisa Tomei as a bat shit crazy school teacher, and there really was no way this movie could bomb. The funny moments are exceptionally funny (and not just by rom com standards), and likewise the drama is pulled off with a great deal of sincerity. My only complaint about this movie is that it is a good half hour longer than it should be, and that will be apparent to anyone who watches it. But otherwise, it's place in this list is rather justified.
- 4 - Limitless
For some reason, every year, without fail I find myself inexplicably liking a movie that doesn't necessarily deserve an awful lot of attention. Usually it's either an awful comedy or a big budget action blockbuster with no plot (a la "The Expendables"), that really has no business appearing in anyone's Top 5. This year, my guilty pleasure was Neil Berger's twisted yarn "Limitless", featuring a pilled up Bradley Cooper realising his full potential due to the discovery of a performance enhancing drug, which ultimately ends up consuming the people who partake and forcing them to a grizzly premature demise. It's essentially a glorified chase movie, with some funky sequences thrown in to illustrate just how Bradley Cooper's character performs while under the influence. It's nonsense really, but it's a visual feast. But on a side note, DeNiro's pug faced tough guy routine is starting to piss me off.
- 3 - Super 8
Up until a month ago, this movie looked set to sit firmly in the number one spot on my list, and not because it is such a terrific movie or anything... but rather because it just so happens that two of the best movies of the entire year (or any year for that matter) were released within the last month. Super 8 is understandably regarded by many as some kind of a rip-off of the Spielbergian movies of the seventies and eighties, but if we're being fair, it's so much more than that. I think the best way to put it is that it is more of a love letter to fans of those innocent eighties movies than anything else. Does it borrow from templates like E.T and The Goonies? Sure it does... But it had been so damn long since anyone had seen a movie like this, that audiences were practically screaming out for a movie that reminded them of those aforementioned classics, and like it or not, Super 8 is the response to those screams. It had great pace, it looked beautiful, and Spielberg stamped his seal of approval all over that mother, which makes the creative sampling of his work acceptable in my book. I also thought it was great to see Kyle Chandler back on the big screen. For the sake of being balanced, if I was to pick something that I didn't like about Super 8, it would be the ludicrous volume of shots featuring lens flare. JJ needs to just build a bridge already. People didnt like the lens flare in Star Trek...what made him think it would be any more well received here?
- 2 - Drive
The movie that solidified Ryan Gosling as the man to lead the next generation of suave, intense protagonists is also quite possibly one of the single greatest thriller's of the last few years. It's a rare occasion that a character comes along that can be both shit cool and mysterious in equal measure, and it's even more rare that we go the entire movie without discovering the character's name. With very little dialogue from the main character, it's remarkable in retrospect that the movie is as gripping as it is. But the key plot points occur at just the right moments to keep you from losing interest in what's going on, and the pace is such that the entire movie (save a couple of utterly grotesque kill sequences) is an absolute joy to watch. The soundtrack is easily one of the finest of the year too, with some epic synth tracks from the likes of Kavinsky and Lovefoxxx. In essence, if I could sum up "Drive" in one sentence, it would be "Go see it!!!"
- 1 - The Ides Of March
Admittedly, part of the reason this movie ranked so high on my list is probably because it is the most recent. Regardless of whether I re-assess my decision to place "The Ides Of March" as my number one movie of 2011, the simple fact of the matter is, at the moment, this movie is the most gripping, enduring film that I've seen in a good long while. On paper it seems like quite a dull story about a young man who is single handedly keeping the presidential campaign afloat for his candidate, while managing potential scandals and ensuring that they don't make their way into the public domain. At this point, it probably goes without saying that there's a lot more to it than that and once again, as with "Crazy, Stupid Love", this movie succeeds with thanks in no small part to the superb performances from the cast. Clooney has certainly proven his directing chops at this point, and it would not be wise to discount this modern classic from next years Oscar race. Marisa Tomei is terrific in her role as the backstabbing journalist who is looking to sell anyone out for the next big scoop, and similarly, Philip Seymore Hoffman does his job more than adequately, playing the paranoid campaign manager for Clooney's presisential hopeful. But perhaps the one thing to take away from this list, is that 2011 belongs to Ryan Gosling. With three of the best picture's of the year under his belt, he can seemingly do no wrong at the moment, and he has built a serious amount of momentum going into 2012. On a side note, the musical score by Alexandra Desplat is exceptional.
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