Post-Irony:- The act of being overly formal to the point of appearing sarcastic or ironic
It's quite bizarre, being the creator/sole representative of a genre which most people find incredibly amusing. For some reason, I always thought that the best way to appear articulate was to find the most complicated way of saying a word, and using that word in a similarly complicated sentence, even when the sentence could otherwise have been said quite simply with mono-syllable words. In certain instances this can work to your advantage. It can be quite a simplistic way of making an otherwise mondane statement seem quite impressive, or even intelligent. This can serve you well in an exam like situation because if you choose your words very, very carefully...you just may be able to convince someone that you know what the fuck you're talking about.
The following is a list of words which may serve you well in an exam like situation:
contrary
perception
deception
fruition
disposition
decadent
ostentatious
comprehensive
The list goes on.
However, if overused in everyday situations, this genre of post irony can become your undoing. It is incredibly important to remember that should you want to appear intelligent or even just articulate, that there is a time and a place to exhibit these skills, and a chat over lunch is probably not that time nor that place. You can use post irony in lectures, debates or essay's etc. but for the love of all that is sweet and holy...don't start to let your use of unnecessarily large words spill over into your average conversations, unless you want to appear like some sort of pretentious dickhead. Fortunately, my over-use of large words where normal words will do has been generally well recieved by most and everyone seems to get a good chuckle out of it. It is also important to note that not all large words are post ironic. There are times when there is simply no easier way to say things. It is when, instead of saying things like "I'm going to the canteen to buy a drink" you say something like "I endeavour to manouvre towards the canteen to purchase a beverage" that you know you're a bollocks. Similarly, twisting the order of words in a sentence can produce the same effect. For example, if instead of saying something like "I'm buying something from the vending machine, do you want something?", you say something along the lines of "I'm off to make a purchase from the machine of vend, is there something that you want?"
Also, if you are to decide to act post ironic and use ostentatious words to form simple sentences, then please do it quickly. One thing that I learned through the creation of this genre is that the person using the large words (from this point forward referred to as the post iron-er) will often times pause for an extended period in order to formulate the sentence in their own head before saying it. This can take the form of a vacant look in their eyes, or a simple stammer and stutter. These attributes in themselves can defeat the purpose of post irony, and simply make you look like a dumbass. This is particularly the case when you are supposed to be answering a question as opposed to just making a statement.
You now know the basics of post irony, the next word to be inducted into the collins gem English dictionary...but not the thesaurus, because if you need one of those, then you're not post ironic at all...are you?!? Welcome to the genre. Should you require more information on how to be post ironic...then pre-book the "So you think you're post ironic?" guide book which I can write on a napkin for you for a mere €79.95
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Speak English More Goodly You Inarticulate Bastards!
I promised myself that this blog would not be used for venting frustration with the internet, as I find it fairly ironic that the thing I am complaining about is the very thing that is allowing me the forum to complain and vent in the first place. Oh, how the mind boggles.
For the most part, it's quite easy to turn a blind eye to most of the things that the internet does which light a fire under me. For example, those adverts that pop up full screen on websites that you just can't seem to close, I can handle those. Those emoticons or whatever the fuck you want to call them that pop up in the side bars of sites are equally as annoying, but also equally as easy to ignore. But what really bugs me about this whole internet generation, and I mean this REALLY brings my piss to a boil, is the toll that it seems to have taken on the English language. I mean seriously, not since the invention of txt spk has the unspoken aspect of the English language taken such a kick in the stones. For example, where exactly did it become commonplace for people to substitute the word "of" for the word "have" in sentences? (for example, remember when people used to say things like "If I would have seen that guy yesterday, I would have kicked his ass" or "Did you go to class today?" "Well, I would have, but then I decided to dick around the house all day instead")
Those days are seemingly behind us, as now we can't log onto facebook or twitter or whatever, without seeing somebody deface the proper use of sentence structure. "If I had of known you guys were goin' to the pub I would of gone." Oh you would of, would you? You would OF GONE?!? YOU WOULD OF GONE?!?! Looks like you should OF gone to a fucking English class, you twat.
Similarly, this business of people writing "teh" instead of "the" and "pwned" instead of "owned" (although I never thought much of the term "owned" as a verb either) is quite bizarre. How incorrect spelling could become so common that it could be regarded as "a fad" is beyond me. "Did you know that I am teh best singer in my music class?" "Oh really? Did you know that you're gonna fail English if you continue to write like a pratt?"
Finally on this subject, (and not because this is all I can think of on the subject, but moreso because if I continue to dwell on this any longer, I just may be reduced to tears.) is this business of people mis-using the different versions of "you're" and "your". "Did you know that your my best friend?" "No, did YOU know that you're a moron?" I remember watching an episode of "Frisky Dingo" that took the absolute piss out of this ridiculous carry-on when the villain "Killface" accidentally prints 40,000 postcards which all read "Welcome to you're doom", in essence saying "Welcome to you are doom!" and although it's hilarious when it's done intentionally on d'telly...it's pretty damn infuriating to see people do it genuinely.
It's just some food for thought, and I promise to not go on and on about it, but it needed to be said. Perhaps I should of chosen my words a little bit better in teh rant above, but let's be honest, your not going to need to look very far to see poorly chosen words anywhere else on teh internet these days are ya.
Now, me go enjoy to watch teh television.
For the most part, it's quite easy to turn a blind eye to most of the things that the internet does which light a fire under me. For example, those adverts that pop up full screen on websites that you just can't seem to close, I can handle those. Those emoticons or whatever the fuck you want to call them that pop up in the side bars of sites are equally as annoying, but also equally as easy to ignore. But what really bugs me about this whole internet generation, and I mean this REALLY brings my piss to a boil, is the toll that it seems to have taken on the English language. I mean seriously, not since the invention of txt spk has the unspoken aspect of the English language taken such a kick in the stones. For example, where exactly did it become commonplace for people to substitute the word "of" for the word "have" in sentences? (for example, remember when people used to say things like "If I would have seen that guy yesterday, I would have kicked his ass" or "Did you go to class today?" "Well, I would have, but then I decided to dick around the house all day instead")
Those days are seemingly behind us, as now we can't log onto facebook or twitter or whatever, without seeing somebody deface the proper use of sentence structure. "If I had of known you guys were goin' to the pub I would of gone." Oh you would of, would you? You would OF GONE?!? YOU WOULD OF GONE?!?! Looks like you should OF gone to a fucking English class, you twat.
Similarly, this business of people writing "teh" instead of "the" and "pwned" instead of "owned" (although I never thought much of the term "owned" as a verb either) is quite bizarre. How incorrect spelling could become so common that it could be regarded as "a fad" is beyond me. "Did you know that I am teh best singer in my music class?" "Oh really? Did you know that you're gonna fail English if you continue to write like a pratt?"
Finally on this subject, (and not because this is all I can think of on the subject, but moreso because if I continue to dwell on this any longer, I just may be reduced to tears.) is this business of people mis-using the different versions of "you're" and "your". "Did you know that your my best friend?" "No, did YOU know that you're a moron?" I remember watching an episode of "Frisky Dingo" that took the absolute piss out of this ridiculous carry-on when the villain "Killface" accidentally prints 40,000 postcards which all read "Welcome to you're doom", in essence saying "Welcome to you are doom!" and although it's hilarious when it's done intentionally on d'telly...it's pretty damn infuriating to see people do it genuinely.
It's just some food for thought, and I promise to not go on and on about it, but it needed to be said. Perhaps I should of chosen my words a little bit better in teh rant above, but let's be honest, your not going to need to look very far to see poorly chosen words anywhere else on teh internet these days are ya.
Now, me go enjoy to watch teh television.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Cinderella Man, a knockout every time!
I sometimes find it diffuclt to fall asleep, and although I tend to be absolutely shattered by the end of every work day in particular, it's the simple fact that I am over tired or whatever that ironically makes it very, very difficult to fall asleep! Although your body can hear the bed calling to it, your brain has no intention of just laying there and switching off, so you just lie there in this half-awake, half-asleep sort of pergutory and whimper to yourself, thinking about how much fun all the other people who are asleep are having.
So, often times it's necessary for me to listen to some music or watch a dvd or something like that to help lull me to sleep. The music seems to work for most people, but for some reason I always tend to choose the worst possible songs to listen to when the objective is to fall asleep. Somehow, bands like AC/DC and Pearl Jam just don't seem to get the job done (hhmmmm, I wonder why!) So, the alternative is to switch on the computer, or a DVD. The computer can be tricky, as it requires effort and once it is turned on, everything you do stimulates your brain even more so, once again, not the best thing to use for a nighty- dreamy -snoozey-snooze! So then we turn to good old Mister Television...When has it ever steered you wrong? NEVER! That's when! Turning to the dvd collection in a hapless, zombified haze, choosing the right movie can be just as important as choosing the right song...you obviously want to steer clear of anything that may stimulate or grab your attention in any way, and you want to pick something with very little substance, to just leave on in the background to create some sort of peaceful ambiance.
So why then, do I find myself drawn towards the most stimulating and engaging movies that you could ever watch when the intent is to fall asleep? Pretty much anything by Pixar is always so tempting. It's kind of like the forbidden fruit or something. The Toy Story movies in particular, are so damn immersive that whenever they're turned on and that all too familiar Randy Newman classic "You've got a firend in me" starts to play, that's it, I'm on board for the long haul, watching with childlike awe and enjoyment for the full 75 minute run time. Similarly, one film that I find particularly inspiring and engaging is "Cinderella Man" starring Russell Crowe as the aging boxer James J. Braddock. A film so engaging that, by picking it out from the collection, you are immediately telling yourself to change objectives...and that now falling asleep isn't the primary concern...now you MUST stay awake and watch this movie, in it's entirity.
I'm a huge fan of the Rocky movies, and if you were to ask me what my favourite movie of all time is, depending on the day, I'd probably tell you that it's "Rocky", and while that's the case, I can't help but feel that there's something profoundly heartwarming about the story of Braddock, and although it's not my favourite film by any means, there aren't too many movies out there that excite me the way Cinderella Man does. Maybe it's the idea that through conquering the depths of America's Great Depression by physically and literally fighting his way through it, long after a professional athlete's career should be over that astounds me so much, or maybe it's the heartwrenching scene in which Braddock's wife Mae discovers that his seemingly wealthy trainer, has sold every last piece of furniture in his home, save a table and chairs, in order to pay for Braddock's training equipment that enthralls me every time. Whatever it is about the plot itself that makes it so appealing, I find the characters to be some of the most likeable and heartfelt ever committed to celluloid. With a cast that includes Paul Giamatti and Rene Zellwegger, how could the film go wrong. Not the least of these impressive supporting characters is the "villain" Max Baer, played by Craig Bierko. Bierko is quite a versatile actor, showing it in spades here. This role is a far cry from his charming and humorous Jeffrey Coho character in "Boston Legal".
I find it extremely funny that Craig Bierko was originally cast as Chandler in "Friends" but turned the role down. It always seems so interesting when you hear about actors who are cast in these HUGE roles, that subsequently quit, or are fired and then you hear very little from them again. It was the same for Eric Stoltz, who was cast as the original Marty McFly in "Back To The Future" and then went on to achieve mediocre success, while Michael J Fox shot to immediate super-stardom. Regardless of whether or not he regrets turning down that role of Chandler Bing, Craig Bierko, although perhaps not as financially successful as Matthew Perry, can take solace in the fact that he has proven himself to be a more versatile and distinguished actor, and he is amazing in this film.
I think the one fact that is most inspiring about this film is that it is based rather closely on the real life trials and tribulations of James Braddock, a man who is said to have paid back welfare money once he started earning money again, and the fact that it so perfectly conjures an image of what the great depression must have been like. And, although Chuck Wepner knocking Muhammud Ali to the canvas is an historic sporting moment (and responsible for the creation of Rocky), it just doesn't compare to the underdog story that was "Cinderella Man".
Top film, check it out. Now, should I go to sleep, or watch a dvd?
So, often times it's necessary for me to listen to some music or watch a dvd or something like that to help lull me to sleep. The music seems to work for most people, but for some reason I always tend to choose the worst possible songs to listen to when the objective is to fall asleep. Somehow, bands like AC/DC and Pearl Jam just don't seem to get the job done (hhmmmm, I wonder why!) So, the alternative is to switch on the computer, or a DVD. The computer can be tricky, as it requires effort and once it is turned on, everything you do stimulates your brain even more so, once again, not the best thing to use for a nighty- dreamy -snoozey-snooze! So then we turn to good old Mister Television...When has it ever steered you wrong? NEVER! That's when! Turning to the dvd collection in a hapless, zombified haze, choosing the right movie can be just as important as choosing the right song...you obviously want to steer clear of anything that may stimulate or grab your attention in any way, and you want to pick something with very little substance, to just leave on in the background to create some sort of peaceful ambiance.
So why then, do I find myself drawn towards the most stimulating and engaging movies that you could ever watch when the intent is to fall asleep? Pretty much anything by Pixar is always so tempting. It's kind of like the forbidden fruit or something. The Toy Story movies in particular, are so damn immersive that whenever they're turned on and that all too familiar Randy Newman classic "You've got a firend in me" starts to play, that's it, I'm on board for the long haul, watching with childlike awe and enjoyment for the full 75 minute run time. Similarly, one film that I find particularly inspiring and engaging is "Cinderella Man" starring Russell Crowe as the aging boxer James J. Braddock. A film so engaging that, by picking it out from the collection, you are immediately telling yourself to change objectives...and that now falling asleep isn't the primary concern...now you MUST stay awake and watch this movie, in it's entirity.
I'm a huge fan of the Rocky movies, and if you were to ask me what my favourite movie of all time is, depending on the day, I'd probably tell you that it's "Rocky", and while that's the case, I can't help but feel that there's something profoundly heartwarming about the story of Braddock, and although it's not my favourite film by any means, there aren't too many movies out there that excite me the way Cinderella Man does. Maybe it's the idea that through conquering the depths of America's Great Depression by physically and literally fighting his way through it, long after a professional athlete's career should be over that astounds me so much, or maybe it's the heartwrenching scene in which Braddock's wife Mae discovers that his seemingly wealthy trainer, has sold every last piece of furniture in his home, save a table and chairs, in order to pay for Braddock's training equipment that enthralls me every time. Whatever it is about the plot itself that makes it so appealing, I find the characters to be some of the most likeable and heartfelt ever committed to celluloid. With a cast that includes Paul Giamatti and Rene Zellwegger, how could the film go wrong. Not the least of these impressive supporting characters is the "villain" Max Baer, played by Craig Bierko. Bierko is quite a versatile actor, showing it in spades here. This role is a far cry from his charming and humorous Jeffrey Coho character in "Boston Legal".
I find it extremely funny that Craig Bierko was originally cast as Chandler in "Friends" but turned the role down. It always seems so interesting when you hear about actors who are cast in these HUGE roles, that subsequently quit, or are fired and then you hear very little from them again. It was the same for Eric Stoltz, who was cast as the original Marty McFly in "Back To The Future" and then went on to achieve mediocre success, while Michael J Fox shot to immediate super-stardom. Regardless of whether or not he regrets turning down that role of Chandler Bing, Craig Bierko, although perhaps not as financially successful as Matthew Perry, can take solace in the fact that he has proven himself to be a more versatile and distinguished actor, and he is amazing in this film.
I think the one fact that is most inspiring about this film is that it is based rather closely on the real life trials and tribulations of James Braddock, a man who is said to have paid back welfare money once he started earning money again, and the fact that it so perfectly conjures an image of what the great depression must have been like. And, although Chuck Wepner knocking Muhammud Ali to the canvas is an historic sporting moment (and responsible for the creation of Rocky), it just doesn't compare to the underdog story that was "Cinderella Man".
Top film, check it out. Now, should I go to sleep, or watch a dvd?
Bizarre is Immature? No, no, no!
Still learning the in's and out's of this blogging business, but I figure it's probably the best way to blow off a little bit of steam every once in a while! So here we go, blog the first, the first blog if you will, and so long as nobody is expecting anything on this to be particularly exciting or interesting, then you're probably going to like it just fine (kind of like a bottle of Dr. Pepper)
Every time a birthday approaches I can't help but remember a quote from the movie "Singles" which I saw back in my early teens. A character played by Bridget Fonda says something along the lines of "23 always seemed so old when I was a kid...I think time is running out to do something bizarre...somewhere around 25, bizarre becomes immature" It's certainly not a piece of advice that I intend to take to heart, as I genuinely reckon that "bizarre" is not something that can be dictated or deliberated, and so doing something "bizarre" can hardly be seen as an act of immaturity, can it? I mean, I would consider the massive spending spree's that people approaching their forties/fifties tend to go on to be quite bizarre, but apparently that's just known as a "mid-life crisis", and as such is anything but immature. But with each passing year I can't help but wonder if there are many people who subscribe to the Bridget Fonda school of thought. I really hope there arent, because, if you think about it...some of the most memorable/exciting nights out/holidays you can remember are probably so damn memorable because of you either doing, or witnessing something "bizarre".
Looking back on college nights out in particular, I can't even begin to tell you how fond I am of each and every truly bizarre moment that we all experienced. Whether it be the strange, dingy, underground, open til' all hours club we found in Prague where tables and chairs were made out of twisted metal, or whether it was drunkenly telling some poor bastard in Doyles that he was Stephen Merchant repeatedly, Sinead pulling me to the ground in slow motion as we looked retarded-ly (is that even a word?)in to each others eyes, or even whether it's strange ladies in their mid to late forties who decide to lecture you over something you are so blisfully ignorant of at Supermac's, these are all examples of hilarious moments that make nights out so much fun.
If you can think of the most hilarious and random things that you ever experienced, and somebody asked you to give all those memories back, would you? Hell's no! And similarly, if somebody asked you to give them up, do you think you could? If Bridget Fonda showed up at my door tomorrow and said, "Hey, just to let you know...that bizarre activities card of yours is coming up for expiration...", first of all I'd address the irony of Bridget fucking Fonda showing up at my door to revoke a fictional "bizarre" card, and then I'd send her on her way...because I don't ever want to give up those random moments of greatness!
And maybe that's just me being immature. I can't speak for everyone else my age, but there are certain things that I believe it's necessary to take with you from your childhood and hold on to for as long as possible, and the potential to confound and do something random, but exciting is definitely at the top of that list. If it's the one thing we can hold on to that makes us even a fraction as happy as we were as wee whipper snappers then why not bite, kick, claw and cling onto it for dear life?!? Now, I'm not saying lets all go bungee jumping while eating whale blubber, or lets sky dive naked...but it would be nice to know that people are making room for the idea that they could potentially do either of those things...and so much more, regardless of age, if they so choose!
Every time a birthday approaches I can't help but remember a quote from the movie "Singles" which I saw back in my early teens. A character played by Bridget Fonda says something along the lines of "23 always seemed so old when I was a kid...I think time is running out to do something bizarre...somewhere around 25, bizarre becomes immature" It's certainly not a piece of advice that I intend to take to heart, as I genuinely reckon that "bizarre" is not something that can be dictated or deliberated, and so doing something "bizarre" can hardly be seen as an act of immaturity, can it? I mean, I would consider the massive spending spree's that people approaching their forties/fifties tend to go on to be quite bizarre, but apparently that's just known as a "mid-life crisis", and as such is anything but immature. But with each passing year I can't help but wonder if there are many people who subscribe to the Bridget Fonda school of thought. I really hope there arent, because, if you think about it...some of the most memorable/exciting nights out/holidays you can remember are probably so damn memorable because of you either doing, or witnessing something "bizarre".
Looking back on college nights out in particular, I can't even begin to tell you how fond I am of each and every truly bizarre moment that we all experienced. Whether it be the strange, dingy, underground, open til' all hours club we found in Prague where tables and chairs were made out of twisted metal, or whether it was drunkenly telling some poor bastard in Doyles that he was Stephen Merchant repeatedly, Sinead pulling me to the ground in slow motion as we looked retarded-ly (is that even a word?)in to each others eyes, or even whether it's strange ladies in their mid to late forties who decide to lecture you over something you are so blisfully ignorant of at Supermac's, these are all examples of hilarious moments that make nights out so much fun.
If you can think of the most hilarious and random things that you ever experienced, and somebody asked you to give all those memories back, would you? Hell's no! And similarly, if somebody asked you to give them up, do you think you could? If Bridget Fonda showed up at my door tomorrow and said, "Hey, just to let you know...that bizarre activities card of yours is coming up for expiration...", first of all I'd address the irony of Bridget fucking Fonda showing up at my door to revoke a fictional "bizarre" card, and then I'd send her on her way...because I don't ever want to give up those random moments of greatness!
And maybe that's just me being immature. I can't speak for everyone else my age, but there are certain things that I believe it's necessary to take with you from your childhood and hold on to for as long as possible, and the potential to confound and do something random, but exciting is definitely at the top of that list. If it's the one thing we can hold on to that makes us even a fraction as happy as we were as wee whipper snappers then why not bite, kick, claw and cling onto it for dear life?!? Now, I'm not saying lets all go bungee jumping while eating whale blubber, or lets sky dive naked...but it would be nice to know that people are making room for the idea that they could potentially do either of those things...and so much more, regardless of age, if they so choose!
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