Post-Ironic is my midde name!

Post-Irony:- The act of being overly formal to the point of appearing sarcastic or ironic

It's quite bizarre, being the creator/sole representative of a genre which most people find incredibly amusing. For some reason, I always thought that the best way to appear articulate was to find the most complicated way of saying a word, and using that word in a similarly complicated sentence, even when the sentence could otherwise have been said quite simply with mono-syllable words. In certain instances this can work to your advantage. It can be quite a simplistic way of making an otherwise mondane statement seem quite impressive, or even intelligent. This can serve you well in an exam like situation because if you choose your words very, very carefully...you just may be able to convince someone that you know what the fuck you're talking about.

The following is a list of words which may serve you well in an exam like situation:

contrary
perception
deception
fruition
disposition
decadent
ostentatious
comprehensive

The list goes on.

However, if overused in everyday situations, this genre of post irony can become your undoing. It is incredibly important to remember that should you want to appear intelligent or even just articulate, that there is a time and a place to exhibit these skills, and a chat over lunch is probably not that time nor that place. You can use post irony in lectures, debates or essay's etc. but for the love of all that is sweet and holy...don't start to let your use of unnecessarily large words spill over into your average conversations, unless you want to appear like some sort of pretentious dickhead. Fortunately, my over-use of large words where normal words will do has been generally well recieved by most and everyone seems to get a good chuckle out of it. It is also important to note that not all large words are post ironic. There are times when there is simply no easier way to say things. It is when, instead of saying things like "I'm going to the canteen to buy a drink" you say something like "I endeavour to manouvre towards the canteen to purchase a beverage" that you know you're a bollocks.  Similarly, twisting the order of words in a sentence can produce the same effect. For example, if instead of saying something like "I'm buying something from the vending machine, do you want something?", you say something along the lines of "I'm off to make a purchase from the machine of vend, is there something that you want?"

Also, if you are to decide to act post ironic and use ostentatious words to form simple sentences, then please do it quickly. One thing that I learned through the creation of this genre is that the person using the large words (from this point forward referred to as the post iron-er) will often times pause for an extended period in order to formulate the sentence in their own head before saying it. This can take the form of a vacant look in their eyes, or a simple stammer and stutter. These attributes in themselves can defeat the purpose of post irony, and simply make you look like a dumbass. This is particularly the case when you are supposed to be answering a question as opposed to just making a statement.

You now know the basics of post irony, the next word to be inducted into the collins gem English dictionary...but not the thesaurus, because if you need one of those, then you're not post ironic at all...are you?!? Welcome to the genre. Should you require more information on how to be post ironic...then pre-book the "So you think you're post ironic?" guide book which I can write on a napkin for you for a mere €79.95