The Subtle Differences!

"It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got here, but it's just – it's just there it's a little different." - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction


I think it happens a lot in life, that the so called "little differences" lead people to misinterpret or even unfairly dislike a lot of things, based on the fact that these "little differences" are in fact so little, that the average person can't tell the difference to begin with.

For example - Coca Cola/Diet Coke

To the uninitiated Diet Coke is simply a lower sugar, lower caffeine alternative to the real McCoy, which boasts the same great taste. However, to the people who consume on average a handful of units of Coca Cola based beverages per week and as such can easily tell the difference, Diet Coke offers absolutely jack and shit. For a kick off, there's no sugar buzz...that's fucked right off...and likewise you can forget about any sort of caffeine induced sweats or paranoia (all the things that make you enjoy it's full sugar counterpart)...and the icing on the cake is that it tastes like absolute piss. I'd say I'd rather drink a carton of unpasteurised, out of date goats milk, but we all know that's bullshit. I'd clearly pick Diet Coke over that as an alternative...but just barely!

 Similarly, I always found the distinction between infant and adult nappies to be something worth mentioning. Why is it, that as infants, we are celebrated for "requiring" (for lack of a better term) these incredibly useful household items, yet, once people hit the pensioner phase of their lives, the sheer idea of having to revert to using these nappies is considered something to be embarassed by. I think all pensioners whose organs aren't performing up to scratch should say it loud and say it proud by sporting an adult nappy underneath their overalls. Wouldn't everyone just be happier if they didn't have to worry about it? And you'd never know, it could become the new norm. Just imagine a world where you don't need to worry about what foul atrocities await you in the dark bowers of public toilets. A Eutopia if ever there was one.

Thirdly, on this subject of subtle differences, is the notion of dialect/language barriers when it comes to certain words referring to different things in different places. This can cause issues. If you are in Europe at a fast food restaurant, and you ask for chips, you get chips. If you are at a similar fast food establishment in the States, and you ask for  chips, you get a strange look from the person behind the counter. This is because they don't say chips. They say "fries"...which over here refers to the act of throwing some rashers, sausages and some pudd on a pan and "frying" it (cryptic isn't it?). When was the last time you've ever seen chips being cooked that way? If I went to a mate's house for dinner and I saw them fuck their chips on to a frying pan I'd cut my losses and go home. Now I know you can put them in a deep fat frier which admittedly is probably what they do in McDonalds...but wouldnt it be easier to just say "chips"?.... and then just to fuck you right off, you'd go to a convenience store in the States and ask for a bag of crisps...only to get another strange look from the clerk. See that's because they call crisps...wait for it..."chips"...That's right, they call those, hard, crunchy, CRISPY potato snacks, chips. It beggars belief.

These are chips

These are crisps

Similarly in terms of regional differences is the variation between names of jam! And I'm not talking about the word "Jam" versus the word "Jelly" (although that lights a fire under me too). I'm referring more specifically to the idea of the words "preserve" and "conserve"... Is there a difference? I always thought they meant the same thing, but when it comes to food, we're living in a world where chips and crisps are swapped depending on where you live, so how can anyone be sure that there are no differences between Strawberry preserve and Strawberry conserve...eh?