The Subtle Differences!

"It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got here, but it's just – it's just there it's a little different." - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction


I think it happens a lot in life, that the so called "little differences" lead people to misinterpret or even unfairly dislike a lot of things, based on the fact that these "little differences" are in fact so little, that the average person can't tell the difference to begin with.

For example - Coca Cola/Diet Coke

To the uninitiated Diet Coke is simply a lower sugar, lower caffeine alternative to the real McCoy, which boasts the same great taste. However, to the people who consume on average a handful of units of Coca Cola based beverages per week and as such can easily tell the difference, Diet Coke offers absolutely jack and shit. For a kick off, there's no sugar buzz...that's fucked right off...and likewise you can forget about any sort of caffeine induced sweats or paranoia (all the things that make you enjoy it's full sugar counterpart)...and the icing on the cake is that it tastes like absolute piss. I'd say I'd rather drink a carton of unpasteurised, out of date goats milk, but we all know that's bullshit. I'd clearly pick Diet Coke over that as an alternative...but just barely!

 Similarly, I always found the distinction between infant and adult nappies to be something worth mentioning. Why is it, that as infants, we are celebrated for "requiring" (for lack of a better term) these incredibly useful household items, yet, once people hit the pensioner phase of their lives, the sheer idea of having to revert to using these nappies is considered something to be embarassed by. I think all pensioners whose organs aren't performing up to scratch should say it loud and say it proud by sporting an adult nappy underneath their overalls. Wouldn't everyone just be happier if they didn't have to worry about it? And you'd never know, it could become the new norm. Just imagine a world where you don't need to worry about what foul atrocities await you in the dark bowers of public toilets. A Eutopia if ever there was one.

Thirdly, on this subject of subtle differences, is the notion of dialect/language barriers when it comes to certain words referring to different things in different places. This can cause issues. If you are in Europe at a fast food restaurant, and you ask for chips, you get chips. If you are at a similar fast food establishment in the States, and you ask for  chips, you get a strange look from the person behind the counter. This is because they don't say chips. They say "fries"...which over here refers to the act of throwing some rashers, sausages and some pudd on a pan and "frying" it (cryptic isn't it?). When was the last time you've ever seen chips being cooked that way? If I went to a mate's house for dinner and I saw them fuck their chips on to a frying pan I'd cut my losses and go home. Now I know you can put them in a deep fat frier which admittedly is probably what they do in McDonalds...but wouldnt it be easier to just say "chips"?.... and then just to fuck you right off, you'd go to a convenience store in the States and ask for a bag of crisps...only to get another strange look from the clerk. See that's because they call crisps...wait for it..."chips"...That's right, they call those, hard, crunchy, CRISPY potato snacks, chips. It beggars belief.

These are chips

These are crisps

Similarly in terms of regional differences is the variation between names of jam! And I'm not talking about the word "Jam" versus the word "Jelly" (although that lights a fire under me too). I'm referring more specifically to the idea of the words "preserve" and "conserve"... Is there a difference? I always thought they meant the same thing, but when it comes to food, we're living in a world where chips and crisps are swapped depending on where you live, so how can anyone be sure that there are no differences between Strawberry preserve and Strawberry conserve...eh?

50/50

So, a few weeks ago I wrote a blog entry documenting my favourite films of the year and vaguely explained why I chose them for my top five. One of the main reasons that 50/50 was not included in this list was that I was originally under the impression that it was not being released over this side of the pond until 2012. I was wrong. It was released three weeks ago. I watched it. I loved it, and then I watched it again. Now I'm writing about it...True story. From watching the trailers or reading the reviews I had more or less pieced together a jigsaw in my head of how the final cut of the movie would look, and as it turned out, for the most part the picture was fairly accurate. Truth be told, it's more or less a straight up cancer story which portray's the grueling nature of chemotherapy, the despair that cancer brings, and the strain that it puts on relationships. On the surface, there's really nothing here that hasn't already been seen a dozen times in other movies.

What I didn't count on however, was the fact that it serves as a very effective way of suddenly making a young audience become very aware of their own mortality, and therein lies its originality. This is something that I can honestly say I never felt while watching any movie in the past. Generally I consider the world of cinema to be a form of escapism, and as such regard most everything that I see within the confines of the auditorium as a work of pure fiction and nothing more. I did not feel that way here.

One of the most interesting aspects of the movie is that it is more or less an auto-biographical tale from it's writer Will Reiser, who was diagnosed with a very rare form of spinal cancer in his early twenties. Another interesting side-note is that Seth Rogen's character (that of the nurturing and well-meaning best friend) is also the role that he played in Reiser's life at the time of his diagnosis, as the two were (and still are) very close friends.

The lead role of Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is played with just the right balance of humour and melancholy as we see him transition through the various physical and emotional "stages" of The Big C. It is clear from the outset that Adam is one of those typical virtuous leading men, putting on full display - all the attributes of a man that women in the audience tend to fall in love with (not unlike his character in "500 days of Summer"). Levitt's real acting prowess is put on full display here, particularly in a late scene in the final act where his tribulations culminate in a heart racing, fist pounding nervous breakdown.

There is also more than adequate support from the likes of Angelica Huston as Adam's grieving mother, and Anna Kendrick as an adorably awkward shrink-in-training.With a compelling, sometimes bitter-sweet, but overall uplifting story and a very bankable assembly of talent in front of the camera, 50/50 is an absolute must see. If you can watch it without feeling the hair stand up on your neck, or at least feeling your chin wobble, then simply put, you are made of stone. Watch this movie.

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 3

It was a dangerous situation...and Dave was a dangerous man. Crawling out of the wreckage of the plane he thought to himself "That's the second plane I had to crash this week...shame". He dusted himself down and patted out the fire on his clothes. Dave looked around...what a coincidence. His kidnappers seemed to have brought him to the destination that he was planning on going to anyway. "I must be in Australia" Dave thought to himself as he looked at the sign saying "Welcome to Australia". All of a sudden the rubble from the crash started to become disturbed. Dave turned and saw a hand sticking up out of the wreckage. "It's the pilot." he shouted..."the dastard...I thought I killed him already" and then, moving closer to the badly hurt aviator his anger subsided. "Oh well..." he thought..."I guess I can always kill him twice". He cracked his knuckles so as to intimidate the man, but alas, the pilot could not be intimidated...not because he was really macho or anything like that, but rather because he had slipped into a coma while Dave was talking to himself. Dave stomped on his nuts. It made a funny crunching sound like when you step on some frozen leaves on a cold winters day. "Hahaha" thought Dave. Now he could begin his learning as planned.

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 2

Dave woke up on an airplane in mid flight. He found the whole situation very confusing because he remembered being at the airport but had no memory of boarding a plane. "I don't remember boarding a plane" he said... "And this whole situation is very confusing". What's more, he was not in a seat, but in the cargo area where it was all dark and uncomfortable. He was pretty sure he heard a rat...and maybe he saw one run past too. Or maybe he was halucinating. It was very dark. It may not have been a rat. It may have just been a giant spider, or a scorpion or something like that. Dave's patience was wearing thin. He had spent several years studying to be a pacifist with Tibetan monks a long time ago, but he was considering abandoning that on acoount of he was so angry for being knocked out and put in the cargo area. "...and after I paid for a ticket and everything" he thought.

Just then a crack of light entered the area and a dark figure walked in. Dave's first thoughts were that if it was a man, he would kill him with a falcon punch, and that if it was a woman, he would seduce her to find out who was responsible. As the figure approached Dave could make out some feminine qualities and so flashed an award winning smile. Her bra popped off. He then proceeded to seduce her. Afterwards he killed her with a falcon punch, but his insatiable appetite for seduction lead him to forget that he was supposed to ask her who was responsible. "Oh well". He was going to find out the information one way or another. He quietly moved  towards the cockpit. "Time to meet the pilot" Dave said. "Hahaha".

Dave's Learnings - Chapter 1

"This is no good" Dave thought out loud to himself. The situation which he was referring to which was not good was that he was finished learning everything that he could possibly learn in Ireland. "I only care about two things in this life...working on my computer, and learning stuff" he said while buying a milky bar ice cream. They were his favourite. As he ate the ice cream bar he realised that it was not bringing him as much happiness as he thought it would. Dave decided that if he was going to continue to learn stuff, he was going to have to go somewhere else to do it."If I am going to continue to learn stuff, I need to go somewhere else to do it" he exclaimed. The man behind the counter in the ice cream shop was not the least bit interested in any of this and said "Just go then...take your precious ice cream bar and leave".

Dave did just that. But he decided that he would bring a laptop...that way he could document his learnings while on the go. But Dave was too poor to buy a laptop. He had spent his last 800 euro on a plane ticket to Australia, so he needed to figure out another way to bring one. "I know" Dave thought... "I will take a laptop from the store and not pay for it". It was not going to be easy, and it would require all of Dave's cunning. "It is not going to be easy, and it will require all of my cunning" he said out loud while standing in the middle of the laptop store. The staff were suspicious. He needed to create a diversion. A clerk came over and asked "Can I help you sir?". Losing his cool, Dave called an audible and picked up the laptop off the shelf, clobbering the store clerk across the head with it, before sommersaulting over a handful of security men who were blocking the exit. Dave escaped with the laptop and was ready to learn. "Hahaha" Dave thought.

2011 in Film

For the most part 2011 has been a dull year for movies. Some of the more interesting titles of the year weren't necessarily rewarded for their efforts with either box office success nor the praise of critics (as usual), and then by contrast, the films that were rewarded with fiscal success were remarkably undeserving of said success (Transformers: Dark Side Of Yer Gash, anyone?). But thankfully, this year, like every other, had just about enough decent offerings to remind us why we love movies in the first place. Now, obviously the year is not over yet, but with movies such as Harold and Kumar and Alvin and The Chipmunks scheduled to finish off the year's theatrical run, it's fairly safe to assume that the best movies of this year have already seen the light of day.

The following is my current opinion (subject to change) on the top movies of the year. So, what's best way to tackle this?... Top 5 countdown I reckon. Cliché, I know, but lets just get it over with shall we?

• 5 - Crazy, Stupid, Love

Wedged somewhere ambiguously between rom-com and drama, this movie features an impressive cast who all churn out solid performances. Couple that with an excellent script and a unique approach to an otherwise jaded "couple going through a rough patch" kind of story, throw in Ryan Gosling as an unbelievably suave player, and an interesting turn from the always delightful Marisa Tomei as a bat shit crazy school teacher, and there really was no way this movie could bomb. The funny moments are exceptionally funny (and not just by rom com standards), and likewise the drama is pulled off with a great deal of sincerity. My only complaint about this movie is that it is a good half hour longer than it should be, and that will be apparent to anyone who watches it. But otherwise, it's place in this list is rather justified.

• 4 - Limitless

For some reason, every year, without fail I find myself inexplicably liking a movie that doesn't necessarily deserve an awful lot of attention. Usually it's either an awful comedy or a big budget action blockbuster with no plot (a la "The Expendables"), that really has no business appearing in anyone's Top 5. This year, my guilty pleasure was Neil Berger's twisted yarn "Limitless", featuring a pilled up Bradley Cooper realising his full potential due to the discovery of a performance enhancing drug, which ultimately ends up consuming the people who partake and forcing them to a grizzly premature demise. It's essentially a glorified chase movie, with some funky sequences thrown in to illustrate just how Bradley Cooper's character performs while under the influence. It's nonsense really, but it's a visual feast. But on a side note, DeNiro's pug faced tough guy routine is starting to piss me off.

•  3 - Super 8

 Up until a month ago, this movie looked set to sit firmly in the number one spot on my list, and not because it is such a terrific movie or anything... but rather because it just so happens that two of the best movies of the entire year (or any year for that matter) were released within the last month. Super 8 is understandably regarded by many as some kind of a rip-off of the Spielbergian movies of the seventies and eighties, but if we're being fair, it's so much more than that. I think the best way to put it is that it is more of a love letter to fans of those innocent eighties movies than anything else. Does it borrow from templates like E.T and The Goonies? Sure it does... But it had been so damn long since anyone had seen a movie like this, that audiences were practically screaming out for a movie that reminded them of those aforementioned classics, and like it or not, Super 8 is the response to those screams. It had great pace, it looked beautiful, and Spielberg stamped his seal of approval all over that mother, which makes the creative sampling of his work acceptable in my book. I also thought it was great to see Kyle Chandler back on the big screen. For the sake of being balanced, if I was to pick something that I didn't like about Super 8, it would be the ludicrous volume of shots featuring lens flare. JJ needs to just build a bridge already. People didnt like the lens flare in Star Trek...what made him think it would be any more well received here?

• 2 - Drive

The movie that solidified Ryan Gosling as the man to lead the next generation of suave, intense protagonists is also quite possibly one of the single greatest thriller's of the last few years. It's a rare occasion that a character comes along that can be both shit cool and mysterious in equal measure, and it's even more rare that we go the entire movie without discovering the character's name. With very little dialogue from the main character, it's remarkable in retrospect that the movie is as gripping as it is. But the key plot points occur at just the right moments to keep you from losing interest in what's going on, and the pace is such that the entire movie (save a couple of utterly grotesque kill sequences) is an absolute joy to watch. The soundtrack is easily one of the finest of the year too, with some epic synth tracks from the likes of Kavinsky and Lovefoxxx. In essence, if I could sum up "Drive" in one sentence, it would be "Go see it!!!"

• 1 - The Ides Of March

Admittedly, part of the reason this movie ranked so high on my list is probably because it is the most recent. Regardless of whether I re-assess my decision to place "The Ides Of March" as my number one movie of 2011, the simple fact of the matter is, at the moment, this movie is the most gripping, enduring film that I've seen in a good long while. On paper it seems like quite a dull story about a young man who is single handedly keeping the presidential campaign afloat for his candidate, while managing potential scandals and ensuring that they don't make their way into the public domain. At this point, it probably goes without saying that there's a lot more to it than that and once again, as with "Crazy, Stupid Love", this movie succeeds with thanks in no small part to the superb performances from the cast. Clooney has certainly proven his directing chops at this point, and it would not be wise to discount this modern classic from next years Oscar race. Marisa Tomei is terrific in her role as the backstabbing journalist who is looking to sell anyone out for the next big scoop, and similarly, Philip Seymore Hoffman does his job more than adequately, playing the paranoid campaign manager for Clooney's presisential hopeful. But perhaps the one thing to take away from this list, is that 2011 belongs to Ryan Gosling. With three of the best picture's of the year under his belt, he can seemingly do no wrong at the moment, and he has built a serious amount of momentum going into 2012. On a side note, the musical score by Alexandra Desplat is exceptional.

Why don't they just use those animawhatsits?!?

Almost in some sort of synchronization, the changing of a decade often seems to coincide with the demise of one of cinema's dominant forms of special effects. If you think about it, the 80's saw the slow whittling down to an eventual (and almost un-noticable) halt of stop-motion animation within live action films. The special effects of Ray Harryhausen had more or less pioneered the idea of placing fictional and sometimes indescribable characters in the same scene with actual actors in the early sixties (a fact which probably blew the minds of cinema going audiences at the time)...but come the end of the 1980's, this form of special effects was more or less obsolete, with the exception of select scenarios where stop-motion made economic sense for the film-maker. Come the early ninties, a new wave of special effects (or trick photography for the real old timer's out there) rose to Hollywood prominence in the form of animatronic puppets and robots.

Of course there were earlier examples of animatronics in films, even going back as far as the mid seventies with Spielberg's "Jaws"...but hindsight shows the rubber, robotic shark from this classic blockbuster for what it really is...a rubber, robotic shark. Perhaps a better example of animatronics being put to work in movies came with the 1986 sci-fi comedy "Short Circuit". A prime example of style over substance, it is the animatronic self aware robot Johnny 5 that carries this otherwise lacklustre movie on his back... which is saying a lot, considering the success of the movie, and the fact that he is not even an actor, but pieces of twisted metal being controlled remotely by some bloke behind the camera. In yo' face Steve Guttenberg! Owned in the acting department by a piece of machinery!

The years following the end of his movie career were not kind to Johnny 5

But the early nineties finally saw the perfect mesh of live action, puppetry and animatronics which left audiences with dropped jaws, bated breath and a hankering for more. 1990 saw the release of one of the biggest financially successful movies of the decade in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"... a movie which probably would not have seemed conceivable in the early eighties as there was no legitimate way to create these characters without them looking utterly ridiculous.

In 1979, Jim Henson created a company called "Jim Henson's Creature Shop". Although the company has since grown into something much larger, it was initially conceived to provide film makers with a means of creating a mix of animatronics and puppetry, tailor made to suit specific film and television projects. Their first major project Labyrinth was a huge success, and it became clear that the staff at the creature shop would be the ideal people to create four realistic walking, talking turtles, and a wise, decrepit rodent.

There really is no comparison here! The CGI turtles just look like absolute dog shit!

Surprisingly enough, the next film to successfuly combine these aspects of film making was also to be the beginning of the end for the mainstream use of the technology. The movie was the behemoth of Jurassic Park. Another Spielberg classic, where you genuinely feel like he probably sat back one afternoon, watched Jaws and thought "fuck...just imagine what I could do with this new animawhatsit technology!"

As well as combining puppetry (close up shots of the giant t-rex head), and robotics (the tar spewing peacock esque, giraffeneckasaurus), the film is also remembered by most as being one of the very first to incorporate mind blowing CGI into the mix, in order to make the pre-historic animals seem truly authentic.

Now THAT'S animatronics!

Slowly but surely after the release of Jurassic Park, puppetry was often abandoned entirely in favour of CGI, probably because some joker in Beverly Hills sat by his pool one day and shouted down the phone to the likes of Spielberg, Zemeckis and Jackson:- "IT'S WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT DAMMIT! Now CGI the shit out of everything from now on"

Is it fuck? I'd say Michael Bay shot his load when he heard this. I remember watching a documentary about Pixar a couple of years ago, and seeing John Lasseter aggressively defend his new form of animation by striking back at those critics who claimed that 3d animation was responsible for the demise of classical 2d theatrical movies. Lasseter simply responded by saying that if the 2d animations had featured good stories, people would go to see them, no matter what medium was used. Of course he was absolutely right, and my complaint about CGI does not extend to the entirely animated movies created by the likes of Pixar and Dreamworks. It is really more limited to the live action movies which attempt to incorporate over the top or often times just plain shoddy computer imagery in the form of big fuck off wanky explosions, or characters who just look super imposed into a scene. If I ever turn on the Sci-Fi channel again, only to be greeted with the likes of "Basilisk" or "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" remind me to rip my own eyes out, but not before cancelling my digital subscription.

If movie making techniques continue to go down the path that they're on, I can see myself being one of those bitter old-timers who just sits there yawning through every post 1997 movie, muttering "they sure don't make them like they used to" just to piss off whoever else is in the room at the time. But seriously...

...they don't.

But just to point out that every film making technique has its flaws if it is not treated with care and respect, here's a little scene from Jaws The Revenge that will leave you in hysterics.

Enjoy!