Its' magnificent, isn't it? Celebrating a holiday that we all know in our hearts shouldn't really be a "holiday" in the true sense of the word. It's vintage Irish to shut down the banks and schools for a day at the drop of a hat really, and why would St.Patrick's Day be any exception? In the midst of the worst economic depression the country has ever seen, certainly since the emergence of Éire as a free state at least, it is nice to have something, anything to cling onto to remind people of that sense of patriotism and pride that they used to take in their country 365 days a year. It's easy to see why people wouldn't exactly feel "proud" of being Irish as of late, what with the banking crisis, the IMF bailout, and the fact that the country has now surpassed a 17% unemployment rate!
But yet, amidst all the buttfuckery and the bullshit that people have been forced to endure in this increasingly disappointing country, that one day of the year, March 17th reminds people that Ireland used to be known for something else, something far greater and far more respectable than being regarded worldwide as economic clowns and failures. We used to be drinkers...and not just any drinkers...Dammit we were the best! It's nice to be the best at something, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to those unfortunate people on the outside looking in! Because when you're the best at something, everybody wants a piece of your shit! And that phrase has never rung more true than it does when applied to St. Patricks Day! The festivities are celebrated in various countries around the globe, where everyone likes to think that they can step up to the plate and be Irish for a day! It's like there's about 4 billion people out there collectively saying "Hey Ireland, look...we can drink like we don't give a shit too!"
Of course we laugh at this and say "That's all well and good one day out of the year you posers, but we're rockin' that lifestyle 365 motha f**ka's...and you wouldn't last five minutes in our world!"
This is evident the very day after St.Patrick's Day...March 18th...the day that the world share's a collective hangover, spends a few hours hating themselves, hating Guinness, and hating us Irish in particular for existing in the first place...Fortunately all of that subsides with plenty of time to spare before the next Paddy's Day roll's around, in which case history repeats itself, and we universally fall off the wagon all over again.
I think something else that needs to be acknowledged is the hangover that Dublin experiences after the event every year, and I'm not talking about the natives...I'm referring to the physical place itself. The streets are strewn with the remains of what were once beautiful green banners, balloons, streamers and flags which are now mashed into the ground along with a dastardly concotion of piss, shit, vomit and many other disgusting sights of that nature. The endless ocean of bodies and casualties that are sprawled out across every street must be enough to enduce a flashback for any Vietnam war vet who may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder...Not a pretty sight. It's safe to say that on this one day, if on no other, the town looks just as wretched, if not more so than it's hungover inhabitants.
But the fact of the matter is, even though it's celebrating a man who banished snakes from an allegedly already snake-free environment, a man who (if he did banish these snakes) has cost us an annual celebration that sounds equally as enjoyable known as "whacking day", St.Patrick is about the only thing that is reminding Irish people, and the rest of the world, that for at least one day out of the year we should wear our tri-colours with pride and stick that middle finger up to the rest of the world and say" Fuck yeah, I'm Irish"...which is quite nice of him really when you think about it, considering he's Welsh!
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